BAD Wildlife Documentaries

As a companion to http://www.zoochat.com/183/good-wildlife-documentaries-390467/

Video: Snakes alive: man eaten by anaconda for TV show - Telegraph

 

I was just coming in to post about this anaconda thing. I imagine that it's just another hoax. I mean, Discovery has put out a lot of fake and sensationalist stuff, like the Megalodon mockumentary. And if it IS real? I can't imagine it being done without great risk to either the man or the snake. Found an article on that, with some responses from a herpatologist.

Why The Discovery Channel's "Eaten Alive" Stunt Could Kill An Ananconda

 

The Anaconda documentary "Eatern Alive" was shown on Discovery Channel last night (in the US). Stop reading if you don't want to know what happened.

*SPOILERS*

Apparently it was a two-hour special, the first hour and forty-five minutes of which consisted of the team hunting for a big Anaconda in the Amazon. At the end, they found one. So the guy jumped in his protective suit, covered himself in pigs blood and got down in the mud.

The Anaconda apparently constricted him for over an hour, before trying to swallow him head first, and then he freaked out and the anaconda was uncoiled and removed. So at no point was he eaten alive per se, which obviously didn't impress many viewers, although possibly it placated some of the documentary's critics.

For more information, and responses, see here: Why viewers are angry with Eaten Alive guy | Stuff.co.nz

 

Eh, I think just about everyone who knows about anacondas saw it coming. I doubt the network actually expected it either.

Even though the snake didn't get hurt, it's still a moronic program and this network should stop trying to pass itself off as educational. They're claiming that the program was an attempt to get people to care about anacondas and the rainforest, but making people afraid of animals doesn't inspire care. While we're at it, I hate their stupid mockumentaries. Fake documentaries are fun as fiction, but they have no place on so-called educational networks. A lot of people still haven't caught on to their BS, they still see Discovery Channel as a good authority on things.

 

Dont even get me started on that "Mermaid" Documentary

 

Definitely, what utter rubbish that was.

 

There was a mermaid documentary?

Man, I really need to get a television!

 

Discovery and Animal Planet aired a fake documentary called Mermaids: The Body Found. The disclaimer that it was fake only appeared for like, half a second, so a bunch of people saw the program and assumed it was real. The NOAA apparently got so many calls from people asking about mermaids that they ended up issuing a statement saying, no, there's no evidence that mermaids exist. There was a similar controversy when Discovery aired a mockumentary about megalodon supposedly still being alive. On their most recent Shark Week, they aired a few more fake documentaries about fake sharks. Including some kind of evil super smart, super big great white off the coast of South Africa, and a Voodoo Shark in Louisiana or something.

Sometimes I wonder if the people who write and release this kind of programming just do it to laugh at the people who think it's real.

 

I guess no one on the staff is old enough to remember the Orson Wells radio broadcast and what happens when you pull this kind of stuff.

 

It's only a matter of time before 100% of their programming is like this. I think this might be a sign of the apocalypse but I'm not sure.

If I had the money, I swear, I'd start my OWN animal-based TV network and it would be so awesome and I wouldn't allow this kind of stupid stuff. Ah, I can dream... At least PBS is still on my side. I'm hoping the internet will help pick up the slack on decent educational programming and documentaries. Lately I find myself paying a lot more attention to theatrically released documentaries, since I can't trust the TV to give me my fix these days.

 

A sampling of this year's Shark Week lineup:
"Sharkaggedon"- Claims that a "shark invasion" is going on in Hawaii. Then they do a bunch of tests with Tiger Sharks that has been seen hundreds of times before on other Shark Week specials.
"Lair of the Mega Shark"- Two "shark experts" journey to New Zealand to investigate rumors of a 20-foot Great White. They see Great Whites, but make it quite clear that "mega shark" was just a ploy to get viewers.
"Monster Hammerhead"- A search for a notoriously large and old Hammerhead Shark. They make the preposterous claim that this shark is over 60 years old and 20 feet long. Is it coincidental that these "legendary" sharks are never found by the end of the show?
"Shark of Darkness: Submarine Returns"- A 2-hour plea to Discovery Channel for better computer animation and better writing.
"Megalodon: The New Evidence"- Out of disgust, I didn't even bother to at least see what it was about. Truly pathetic, and unfortunately so effective at making people believe that Megalodon survives to this day.

 

This summer I was working at an employee lounge with two TVs, and my manager looooves Shark Week... So I had to suffer through some of it when I went out to clean. The Submarine one made me want to fall to my knees and weep cause it was so ridiculous.

When people come up with this stuff, what on Earth are they thinking? Do they have contests to see what kind of stupid stuff they can get people to believe? Or does the network make them write this stuff and they resent it?

Since they're going in this obviously fake, shockumentary direction, I'm wondering when we'll start getting programs about half human, half bigfoot babies. Or, how about a conspiracy where this whole time, Hitler had his brain transferred to the body of a monster eagle (WITH A 40 FOOT WINGSPAN) and he goes around killing people? And housecats are really space aliens who came here to take over our planet! Any evidence we have of them being domesticated from a wild species was planted there! I wonder if I can get a job writing garbage for Discovery...

If you want a good laugh, here's a really funny ad campaign PBS released a while ago mocking these networks.

 

I am really surprised how much crap programs there are now on both National Geographic as on Discovery channel. Where are the good days in which there were still real wildlife documentaries or other programs with any real information and not just sensational b*llshit.

 

Watch Nat Geo Wild, apart from Dog Whisperer, it's pretty good

 

And of course in line with all the previous "great" documentaries there is their:

The Russian Yeti: The killer lives

Which was very inappropriate for the family of those that died in the Dyatlov Pass incident.

 

I did watch this a week ago and whilst it was very entertaining and I enjoyed it, it was not a documentary and didn't deserve to be on a channel that calls itself non fiction. If it had actually presented itself as purely an entertainment show I think it could have been fine but it was presented as facts which was misrepresentation in my opinion.

 

I would, but I only have basic cable.

I can't help but feel that these fake documentaries could be harmful. If people think that the ocean is full of man-eating megalodons, that wouldn't make them support ocean conservation. The mermaids program brought up the issue of sonar testing, something that does cause a lot of harm to marine life, and the "plot" of the mocumentary is that the government is covering up the existence of mermaids so they can continue Navy sonar testing. When people realize that the film is fake (whether they know right away or if someone has to tell them) then, could it diminish the issue? They might not think sonar testing is a real environmental issue because it was presented in a fake movie about nonexistent creatures.

 

Have any of you guys seen the show "Fatal Attractions"? It's kind of stupid. It's all about how exotic pets will kill you, but it becomes pretty obviously that they run out of cases to cover, since death-by-exotic-pet is really rare. There was this one exceptionally stupid episode where this guy has a bunch of pet monitor lizards, I think Nile monitors. The guy dies in his house, and the rest of the program is about how horrible it is that his lizards ate his body and that's why it's bad to keep them as pets. Hate to break it to the network, but even domestic animals will do that. It doesn't mean the lizards are evil or horrible monsters, they were just hungry and did what they could to survive.

Also, all of the owners on the show are portrayed as mentally ill. It's so weird.

 

Whats next, Death by Goldfish

 

There are beauty treatments where you stick your feet in a bucket full of small fish and they eat the dead skin off your feet. I'm sure they can find some way to spin that into "man-eating fish".