Has Twycross ever had an aquarium or any fish (etc) species? Was just talking to a friend who said it’s called Twycross and Aquarium and I cant remember ever seeing anything remotely aquarium-esque
There was a Twycross Aquatics centre, doubling as a garden centre where the roundabout is in the village - other than that there were fish in the old Dwarf Croc pool in the eighties?
A quick google search for "Twycross zoo aquarium" shows no indication it ever had an aquatic reference in it's name, nor on it's own About Us page or wiki. I think your friend was simply mistaken
I remember Twycross keeping several fish species in their old Reptile/Tropical house back in the 90s and maybe the 80s, but I don't remember what species they had in there. Twycross has never had a full on Aquarium looking back through all of my guidebooks.
Sounds like my kind of joke! A guy went into a French seafood restaurant and asked to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheeled over a trolley with a large tank full of various species, and the man examined the dishes. "I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" said the man. "An excellent choice, they have a delicate, mild flavour" replied the waiter and called out "Gervais!" A little French chef appeared with a large knife, and the waiter instructed the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip. Gervais was just about to slice the poor squid open when he noticed a tear running down its face. Gervais was touched, and admitted that he hadn't the heart to kill the squid. "Not to worry" said the waiter, and called out "Hans!!" at which point an enormous German bloke came out of the kitchen. "Sir", said the waiter, "This is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that little green squid with the hairy lip!" The dishwasher held a huge rolling pin aloft and was just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringed back and gave a little cry. "I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" he admitted, his lower lip trembling. "Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows...... That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!"
"Well sir," said the waiter, "it just shows...... That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais, with mild green, hairy lip squid!" I've seen that joke evolve from about thirty five years ago (Hans and Gervais have been added since then). I'm not sure I couldn't have been bothered to type it though .
Yes (UK-wide as far as I know,not just England), the original jingle was, "hands that do dishes are as soft as your face with mild green Fairy Liquid" (or something like that).
Yep not sure how the punchline would work without Hans or Gervais though, as suggested was the case by @Shorts
The joke was not nearly as tight, though thinking about it the joke may have been mis-told and omitted Hans (definitely no Gervais back in the day though).
It was a suburban mum and her daughter at the kitchen sink wasn't it- the daughter says something like 'mummy, how soft the bubbles are' or something- and the mummy agrees, then the music- but would not very p.c in this day and age I don't think...
