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Jokes and puns thread

Discussion in 'Zoo Cafe' started by Jambo, 31 Dec 2018.

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  1. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Administrator Staff Member 20+ year member

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    92591018_116606066666403_7857777839242739712_n.jpg
     
    Simon Hampel, 11 Apr 2020
    #21
    JigerofLemuria, Mickey, birdsandbats and 6 others like this.
  2. LowlandGorilla4

    LowlandGorilla4 Well-Known Member

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    Whats a dentist's favorite animal?


    A molar bear :D:D:D
     
    LowlandGorilla4, 4 May 2020
    #22
    JigerofLemuria, Onychorhynchus coronatus, iluvwhales and 1 other person like this.
  3. LowlandGorilla4

    LowlandGorilla4 Well-Known Member

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    Due to quarantine I'm only telling inside jokes:D
     
    LowlandGorilla4, 4 May 2020
    #23
    JigerofLemuria, The Cassowary, iluvwhales and 1 other person like this.
  4. aardvark250

    aardvark250 Well-Known Member 5+ year member

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    My chemistry teacher: How many moles are in a beaker of 200g water?

    My brain: upload_2020-5-5_11-49-30.png
     
    aardvark250, 5 May 2020
    #24
    JigerofLemuria, Neil chace, CheeseChameleon1945 and 7 others like this.
  5. TeaLovingDave

    TeaLovingDave Moderator Staff Member 10+ year member

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    How can you determine the number of molecules in a portion of guacamole?

    Avacado's Constant.
     
    TeaLovingDave, 5 May 2020
    #25
    Mickey, Jambo, KevinB and 4 others like this.
  6. vogelcommando

    vogelcommando Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    kleurplaat.png

    ( Coloring page for lazy people :) )
     
    vogelcommando, 5 Sep 2020
    #26
    JigerofLemuria, Neil chace, The Cassowary and 4 others like this.
  7. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    Which fish acts?
    Dame Judi Tench
     
    Dassie rat, 5 Sep 2020
    #27
    Jungle Man and iluvwhales like this.
  8. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    Have you heard about the revengeful aracaris?

    Toucan play at that game
     
    Dassie rat, 5 Sep 2020
    #28
    Jungle Man, birdsandbats, iluvwhales and 4 others like this.
  9. Onychorhynchus coronatus

    Onychorhynchus coronatus Well-Known Member

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    Excellent one , hahaha!
     
    Onychorhynchus coronatus, 5 Sep 2020
    #29
  10. iluvwhales

    iluvwhales Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    Did you hear the one about the crocodile who thought he was an alligator?

    He was in de-Nile.
     
    iluvwhales, 8 Sep 2020
    #30
    Onychorhynchus coronatus, Jungle Man and LowlandGorilla4 like this.
  11. WalkingAgnatha

    WalkingAgnatha Well-Known Member

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    You hear about the sea snail that got left behind?

    He was on his ab-alone
     
    WalkingAgnatha, 18 Sep 2020
    #31
    TheGerenuk, Onychorhynchus coronatus and Jungle Man like this.
  12. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    Why are Asiatic red dog fleas unemployed?

    Because they're on the dhole
     
    Dassie rat, 3 Oct 2020
    #32
    TheGerenuk and Onychorhynchus coronatus like this.
  13. Junklekitteb

    Junklekitteb Well-Known Member

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    India
    [​IMG]
     
    Junklekitteb, 14 Oct 2020
    #33
    JigerofLemuria, The Cassowary, Jambo and 3 others like this.
  14. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    Why wasn't a grizzly prosecuted for using its forelimbs to attack a person?.

    As an American, it had the right to bear arms
     
    Dassie rat, 19 Jan 2021
    #34
    Neil chace, LowlandGorilla4 and Onychorhynchus coronatus like this.
  15. The Cassowary

    The Cassowary Well-Known Member

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    A man was arrested at the local beach for feeding pot brownies to all of the seabirds.

    Wildlife officials say he left no tern unstoned.
     
    The Cassowary, 19 Jan 2021
    #35
    LowlandGorilla4 and Dassie rat like this.
  16. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Administrator Staff Member 20+ year member

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    Simon Hampel, 10 Mar 2021
    #36
    ZooBinh and Onychorhynchus coronatus like this.
  17. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    After I saw the stand up chameleon, I saw a group of lizards producing music. The tribesman said "That's Gecko and the Bunnymen"
     
    Dassie rat, 10 Mar 2021
    #37
  18. LowlandGorilla4

    LowlandGorilla4 Well-Known Member

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    The other day I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
     
    LowlandGorilla4, 10 Mar 2021
    #38
    Dassie rat and ZooBinh like this.
  19. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Administrator Staff Member 20+ year member

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    239506381_552952305854822_7443293779590803140_n.jpg
     
    Simon Hampel, 27 Aug 2021
    #39
    JigerofLemuria and Dassie rat like this.
  20. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member 10+ year member

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    If you have 2 snout beetles, why should you choose the smaller one?

    It's the lesser of two weevils.
     
    Dassie rat, 27 Aug 2021
    #40
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