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Jokes Only a Zoochatter Would Understand

Discussion in 'Zoo Cafe' started by pachyderm pro, 2 Feb 2018.

  1. pachyderm pro

    pachyderm pro Well-Known Member

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    Title is fairly self explanatory. Post some jokes or phrases that only a member of this forum would get. I figured this would be fun. To get started...

    What's more Stressful?

    A hard day at the office with a job you can't stand?
    or...
    Checking the Duisburg Zoo News thread to see if the river dolphin is still alive?
     
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  2. TZDugong

    TZDugong Well-Known Member

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    I’d take the office job in a heartbeat.
     
  3. Arizona Docent

    Arizona Docent Well-Known Member

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    What is the quickest way to sabotage an enemy's computer?

    Secretly subscribe them to all the Chester Zoo threads.
     
  4. TZDugong

    TZDugong Well-Known Member

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    What’s harder?

    Running a marathon or trying to read Chilidonias goes to Asia 2013 in one go?
     
  5. savethelephant

    savethelephant Well-Known Member

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    What requires more patience?

    Waiting in the Monsoon Forest by the false gharials or waiting for TeaLovingDave to finish his trip reports?
     
  6. TeaLovingDave

    TeaLovingDave Moderator Staff Member

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    How do you know if David Gill is reading this thread?

    Don't worry... he'll tell you :p
     
  7. TeaLovingDave

    TeaLovingDave Moderator Staff Member

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    Of course, the greatest joke ever said on Zoochat is this one.....
     
  8. pachyderm pro

    pachyderm pro Well-Known Member

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    Of the seven wonders of the world, which one is missing?

    1. The Colossus of Rhodes
    2. The Great Pyramid of Giza
    3. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon
    4. The Lighthouse of Alexandria
    5. The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
    6. The Statue of Zeus at Olympia
    7. Bongorob's Knees
     
  9. bongorob

    bongorob Well-Known Member

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    My contribution.

    Dr Colin Groves is researching Lagomorphs, or to put it another way - he is splitting hares.
     
  10. gentle lemur

    gentle lemur Well-Known Member

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    It don't think it works if you're too old to remember Cheers :(
     
  11. Zoofan15

    Zoofan15 Well-Known Member

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    When You Have Mates Who Don't Understand ZooChat...

    Mate 1: Dating sites don't work, I've been on for a week, sent 42 messages and 11 smilies and not got a single reply.

    Mate 2: Oh you should try Zoochat!

    Mate 1: Are you on it?

    Mate 2: Nah, but this guy spends half his life on it (points at me) and he has no trouble finding women to meet up with. If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd join Tinder and Zoochat in a heartbeat.
     
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  12. Kakapo

    Kakapo Well-Known Member

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    Quickest and more destructive would be suscribe him to a thread with loads of videos, particularly the "Rarely seen events" one - I passed 27 minutes with my internet freezing and Shockwave Flash blocking until I was able to finally unsuscribe the thread and go back to new posts.
     
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  13. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Administrator Staff Member

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    WTF? I hadn't seen that post. @Chlidonias I'm not even going to try - sorry. :p
     
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  14. PaleoMatt

    PaleoMatt Well-Known Member

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    Shh(*click*)elleeeeedonnyarse
     
  15. Simon Hampel

    Simon Hampel Administrator Staff Member

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    Yeah, that's something I'm going to need to think about - not quite sure of the best way to deal with that other than to suggest you get a better computer :p :D (seriously though - I do need to look at it)
     
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  16. Batto

    Batto Well-Known Member

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    Isn't swearing prohibited on ZC?
     
  17. zoomaniac

    zoomaniac Well-Known Member

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    I guess this stands for "Where to find" because he wrote that he hasn't seen the post..:D:p
     
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  18. Scottish Wildcat

    Scottish Wildcat Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    (maybe not zoochat exclusive, but I had to share this on here somewhere)
     
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  19. aardvark250

    aardvark250 Well-Known Member

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    More like"vulnerable pandas"
     
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  20. LaughingDove

    LaughingDove Well-Known Member

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    You've just made me realise the obvious extension to this thread.

    Zoo-nerd specific memes!

    Here's three that I just made to start off with, going with a bit of a Berlin theme here:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]