Movie review rant

$50 Aussie Dollars is around £32 (32 quid), for that I could get 4 adult tickets in most cinemas or get the VIP extendable seats with a couple of drinks included and a bag of popcorn!. On the rare occasions we go to the cinema, I always take my own snacks and drinks as in the UK, cinemas really fleece you for a bottle of water and a bit of chocolate.
I do however quite fancy going to watch the 3 Stooges soon, anyone seen it yet?.

 

For $50 I can get 2 tickets. Going to the movies is extortion here, and it is little wonder that a lot of people here turn to shady means of watching movies.

I saw Heston Blumenthal on TV helping a cinema reinvent its menu, and they told him not to rip the popcorn bags, because the bags cost more than the popcorn - it was cheaper for them if an employee spilled popcorn on the floor than ripped a bag! So yes, food and drink is where a cinema makes a killing. We also take snacks sometimes, but if we are out and about and decide to catch a movie, well we just have to buy snacks.

My wife saw The Three Stooges and said it was funny, but she kept referring to the movie as The Three Snooges. it was too funny an error to correct.

 

I just saw this on the plane back from Samoa. Obviously, I didn't get the 3D experience (but that was OK).

Unlike Nanoboy, I kinda enjoyed it. Knowing it was prequel of sorts made it interesting for me, and the storyline wasn't too bad. I thought the acting was OK, and Charlize Theron didn't smile because that was her character (she did actually smile at one point though).

I'd like to know if they plan on a sequel, to see what happens to Shaw next. Considering there were four Alien movies, plus two AVP, it wouldn't surprise me if they did.

If you're a sci-fi fan, you'll probably enjoy this. If you enjoy action or horror movies, then you may be a little disappointed.



Hix

 

You "kinda enjoyed it" - which means that it was borderline to go in the dud bin, or else you would have said that it was awesome.

I saw 'Snow White and the Huntsman' last night, and I fell asleep. What I do remember, is Charlize Theron not smiling - again! Is she the new movie bitch?

 

Innocence of Muslims

Protests, riots, and killings are raging across the Middle East, and there was even a large and violent protest in Sydney - all because of this movie. I just had to see what all the fuss was about.

I can totally understand why people are incensed about this movie. I too felt like protesting and burning something down. My reason though, was slightly different to that of the Muslim world: the film was just terrible! The acting was horrible, the dialogue was dubbed in key scenes to push a different message (which gave it the feel of a badly dubbed 70's kung fu flick), and most of it was filmed in front of a blue screen (or is it a green screen?). It was a waste of 15 minutes of my life. However, there was one redeeming quality about the film: it was so bad that it was actually quite funny. I couldn't help but laugh throughout the entire 'film' as a high-school film project would be of better quality.

This is a movie-review-rant, and not a political thread, so all I will say is that I am not entirely sure why Muslims feel the need to blame America for a silly film. Moreover, I don't get why they feel the need to violently protest the portrayal of Mohammed as a violent dude. There is some irony there....

Anyway, here are my ratings:

In the category "Ability to Incense the Muslim World": 9/10 (where the Danish cartoon was an 8, and 'The Satanic Verses' was a 6)

The film itself gets 0/10 where my hand-held home-made movies with my lame captions and voiceover rates 1/10.

Watch it on Youtube if you want to see why people are dying around the world, but kudos to you if you make it past 5 minutes.

[EDIT: I should state that I am not Muslim, so obviously I am not offended by the content. But for the record, there is no reason to kill people over an obscure anonymous posting of a silly film on YouTube.]

 

So you're saying any movie is either a dud or awesome?

Prometheus was not borderline dud. You're review was of a bad movie, but I enjoyed it - not greatly, but I enjoyed it. I certainly woudn't describe it as a dud, or even borderline.

I also saw "The Lion King" for the first time last month - I wouldn't call that awesome, but neither is it a dud. I kinda enjoyed it too.



Hix

 

Man, you and Chlidonias are so easy to goad. Tokelau sapped your sense of humour?

Of course I agree that movies can be enjoyable yet not great. That's why my ratings are not binary, but instead range from 0-10. Watch the anti-muslim film and tell me that it wasn't a dud though. We should be able to agree on that, if not sci-fi films!

 

The Cabin in the Woods

I didn't watch a horror movie since 2011, so when I read about this new release that received rave reviews, I felt that I had to see it.

A group of uni students (including Chris Hemsworth of 'Thor' fame) go away to a cabin for a weekend retreat (i.e. sex, booze, and marijuana) but end up dying one by one at the hands of zombies that they inadvertently raise from the (un)dead.

There were a few instances where you did indeed jump out of your seat, but for the most part, I felt that this movie fell flat on its face. From the opening scene, the film explained that everything that the kids were going to experience was staged, filmed, and beamed to a control room with hundreds of scientists and technicians that manipulated the outcome. If they revealed this at the end, then the scare factor during the movie would have been higher. However, because you knew that it wasn't real, the movie devolved into one of those gore-fests that produces more laughter in the theatre than screams. This film tried to be clever like 'Cube' and 'Hellraiser', but instead turned out to be more 'Cabin Fever' crossed with 'Army of Darkness'.

I did some background reading on this film, and it turns out that although it was released in April 2012 in America, it was actually filmed in early 2009! Due to financial problems at the studio, the release date was pushed back, and eventually the film was sold to Lionsgate. I can understand why it was shopped around though: the movie was horrible.

Yes, it had so much potential - but only if they kept the viewers guessing, which they didn't. I will not keep you guessing about my rating though: rent it on DVD if you are after an all-round movie that will give you some screams and some laughs, but will not excel in any department.

Rating: 6/10 (where the 'Saw' franchise is easily an 8-8.5, and 'Cabin Fever' is a 4)

 

But assuming that people don't know things is just arrogant.

Welcome back dude! I missed you backing up Hix's posts at every turn!

Check the "is the forum dead thread". I thought you did a Baldur. The forum just wasn't the same when you were away.

 

Goad
Verb:
Provoke or annoy (someone) so as to stimulate some action or reaction.

For readers that thought I meant 'toad' or 'load'.

 

Madagascar 3

We saw this last night at the cinema - about 3 months after the rest if the world, probably because they wanted to time its release to coincide with the start of the school holidays. For the record, tickets cost $25pp and when you add a small popcorn and a small Coke, this movie cost at least $60 for two adults. I mentioned the cost because it was money well spent. This was easily one of the best animated films that I have ever seen!

Even if you did not see the first two movies, it does not matter because the premise is simple: a group of talking animals are trying to make their way from Europe back to their original home at the Central Park Zoo in New York.

The film was, in essence, an 'action comedy'. The laughs came at regular intervals, and many of the jokes were pitched for adults. "In France they work for only two weeks of the year - they have the same work ethic as Canada!" - according to the penguins. The action was nail-biting and could only have come to life in an animated movie.

The real standout for me was the excellent use of the 3D effect. Man, I kept bobbing and weaving to evade the shrapnel that kept hurtling towards me. If you are a fan of the nouveau-3D genre, then this film is a must-see for you.

This film was a great way to spend two hours because it wasn't just telling a story: it was an immersive and entertaining experience that the entire family would enjoy. Indeed, I might just go and see it again!

Rating: 9.5/10 (where the first two instalments were about 8's, and my former favourite animated film - Monsters Inc - was a 9)

 

Looper

Interesting concept, and some great special effects. I wasn't too thrilled with what 2044 looked like, but it didn't really detract from the storyline. As welll as Bruce Willis it also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt (whom I've never heard of), Emily Blunt, and some brief appearances by Jeff Daniels and Piper Perabo. There's also a kid - Pierce Gagnon - who is pretty good for his age.

I liked it, and if you like sci-fi, especially with a time-travel element, you'll probably enjoy this (although the time-travel concept is fairly basic if you're used to the non-linear variability of temporal mechanics explored in the Star Trek franchise).



Hix

 

Is this a new movie? Is it showing at the cinema now? I don't recall seeing an advert on TV, but it sounds like something I would enjoy.

 

How can you not have heard of Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Latter Days, G.I. Joe, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, etc.

I liked the idea of the movie, but I'm not going to go and see it, will wait for DVD.

Have any of you Aussies seen the Kath and Kim movie? It doesn't look like it is going to be released here unfortunately, so will have to wait for the D-Voi-Dee of that too.

 

Oh come on! If he's remembered for anything then it would be 10 Things I Hate About You.

And I've heard a few bad things from people that have actually seen it and I don't want to ruin what I remember about the show.

 

I never watched either show (although I have seen a couple of third rock episodes, but I dont remember JGL in them).

 

Haven't seen them (well, Inception, but I don't remember him).

Haven't seen that one either.

Nor have I ever watched that one.

Nanoboy: Looper premiered in Australian cinemas yesterday, and is opening in the US tomorrow.



Hix