So I have a huge problem since I have autism since I was growing up I love animals and I learn so many facts and increasing knowledge of them whether searching online, watching, nature documentaries, and going to zoos, aquariums, hikes, or any animal institutes. The thing is I talk about animals a lot, I’m obsessed with them, when socializing that’s a topic and subject that I enjoy and it keeps me going. But the problem is and my parents always keep telling me, teaching me, and are tired of me talking about animals to the point they don’t want me to talk about animals in a conversation that is a off-topic, other people might be confused, and more importantly they get very bored and upset with them, and they’re too polite not to admit it to me. Even as a adult and I’m living with them, they don’t want me to talk about animals a lot especially my dad because they think it’s inappropriate and how to put this....not interesting to everyone, like not everyone is interested into animals. It kinda makes me sad like they keep putting me down, I feel lonely (Since we’re during the pandemic and when I’m outside school/college), and I have no to talk about my facts to especially someone who is interested in animals as much as me? So any advice of what should I do? Are any of you like me?
I'm sorry your parents feel that way Quite a few of us here are also autistic, with animals as our "special interest." I've been fortunate in that my family puts up with it. One thing that has helped in the past - I've reminded them I could be out partying, getting drunk, and/or frequently using drugs, like others my age (and now, could have a bunch of babies I can't care for), but instead I'm focused on animals and spend my money on animal art, zoos, etc instead of that stuff.
I feel really bad about what your going through, I simply can't relate, I've never had any problems like this before, but here is my advice. I think it's definitely a good thing that your into animals, as its a very useful subject to learn upon and pursue. The best decision is to just follow your gut with what you feel like is best for you, and put the past behind yourself. What matters is that you know yourself, and you do your best to fulfill your sociable interests. I really hope your family sees you in a better light, and understands that you are you, but make sure to tell them that its your life choices, and they don't have control over your interests. I hope you feel better soon, Best wishes, Luke.
To being autistic? Yes, many of us. To being interested in animals to the point of spending every day thinking about it? Yes, pretty much everyone on this site welcome to a community where your primary interest is shared! One of the things that is very common in those with autism is to have a strong fixation on one or a small number of interests. It's important to know that there's nothing wrong with that; your interest in animals is valid because it makes you feel happy and fulfilled. You should hold on to that interest, and to the best of your ability continue to engage with your favorite topic and talk to other people you find that share your interest. This site is a great resource for those who don't have other people in their life who share their interest in animals or zoos. There is also a Discord server for ZooChat where people can have more spontaneous and free-form chats. If you haven't joined already I would highly recommend; especially since the COVID-19 pandemic began I have used Discord for a lot of my social interaction and while it doesn't replace all aspects of socializing in-person, it can be a good outlet to talk to others about shared interests. As for talking about animals with people in your "in-person" life (apologies if this is not what you wanted advice on - I wasn't sure from your post): unfortunately many people are not going to share your interest or want to talk with you about animals, and that's ultimately outside of your control (which, to reiterate, does *not* mean your interest is wrong in any way). If you would still like to find a way to connect with them in a positive way that doesn't lead to you feeling sad or put down about your interest, I would suggest trying something that has served me well: to find out what others are interested in and try talking to them about that instead. This doesn't always work; sometimes you and another person will just not have interests in common, and that's okay. But sometimes you might get lucky and find a different topic you both like or come to like, and the result will be that your relationship with that person improves and you find a new topic of interest that you can share with others and learn more about. And even if you don't get lucky, people will often nevertheless appreciate that you're making the attempt. Hopefully, if you show you are willing to humor their interests sometimes, they will show you the same respect
OK this post is kinda scary because it sounds what you're going through is almost exactly the same as how my life was (and still is). I'm also autistic though only recently diagnosed but I've known it for a long while, I've also been completely obsessed by animals for as long as I can remember and always had trouble socialising with people because of my autism and interests I had few friends and got badly picked on at school. I remember my parents and others telling me that no one else wanted to hear about my interests so I just kept quiet. Then I went to uni and though I still struggled a lot things got better, I met some like minded people and things generally improved until earlier this year when the pandemic happened, I had a bit of a breakdown and had to go back to living with my parents which I've found really hard and the last thing I wanted to do As for what you can do I'm not too sure as I'm kind of in the process of finding out myself. I guess the big difference is that my parents whilst not interested in the way am do accept my interests and kind of like animals and the outdoors and I imagine my life would be much harder if it wasn't for that. Basically just don't lose hope and remember that your interests are perfectly valid and try to connect with people who share or accept them. Sorry for giving my whole life story I just thought it might help to know that you're not the only one that's struggling with those things Also @Coelacanth18 unrelated and the ultimate noob question: what is this Discord thing and how does one access it?
Discord is a website that's basically just a big live chat that you can join specific groups in. If you know about Google Hangouts, Discord is similar.
Thank you, I've found it. How does one access the server for zoochat specifically or do you need to be invited? Sorry for going off topic and being generally stupid
I think you can either ask a moderator, or their might be a thread about this. Don't worry, you don't sound stupid, I don't know how to access the discord chatroom either.
The thread is here: Discord Chatroom for ZooChat Not a noob question at all at the moment you have to request access from @Simon Hampel because the server is not integrated with the site yet; a lot of people on the site took a while before realizing it existed, and I'm sure many still don't!
Thank you all for your advice, My greatest fear is that I feel alone with no one to talk to animals with and that I’m afraid and hate when my parents yell at me that they have to put up with my interests. They would mock my behavior to make me feel bad and yell at me that no one is interested in animals or wants to hear me talk about animals at all, they want to hear human life topics not animals and they might be confused of what I say, but I don’t feel that way like I find how Beavers are important into stopping climate change or an animal that I didn’t know live in my area interesting compared to a new movie, someone winning a award, or what my relatives did in my life. I don’t find human life and behavior interesting compared to animals because I see it everyday and I know humans are smart and innovative, but can’t do interesting skills and abilities animals can do. When my parents reprimanded since due to my Autism, I’m forgetful and stubborn not wanting to be wrong, I feel bad and sad and they show no remorse or guilt, tough love they say, they even say stuff like No talking about animals in the car, the house, or when we go somewhere unless it’s animal related. I didn’t understand until now my mom told me while at a relative’s party, a woman walked away from me because I was talking about animals, meaning they were right in true I just want attention, I don’t want to be alone and isolated, and I was just people to be interested and engaged like it used to be that way when I volunteer at the zoo, but when the pandemic hit it made things more difficult, I feel the need for people, friends, and possibly family, and my parents tell me that there social sites like this one, but it’s not the same as talking to a person in front of you than at a screen, I just miss that kind of contact.
Most people I know aren’t as interested in animals as I am, but they are not rude about it. My solution to not having someone to talk to about animals was to start having out with the son of my dad’s friend, who is my age and shares a deep interest in wildlife. If you can find someone to connect to, that would probably be your best bet. Also, don’t worry about you autism, mental health issues have solutions, I am proof of that, I went through very tough struggle in 4th and 5th grade, it has been three years since I got over it, and I still have problems, but I found a solution, and so can you
Thanks, also people want to hear topics like current events, movies, video games, news, and about human people. My parents cut me off when I was talking about the Jurassic world dominion movie focusing on the dinosaur part and they told me they don’t want to hear about the dinosaur they want to hear about the cast, production, setting, story, and human characters. I know what they’re saying, but it makes me bad because I won’t explain the facts about the dinosaurs and animals which I find more interesting.
I’m sorry to hear that, like today my parents are often willing to hear animal rambles from me, though every once in awhile they tell me to stop.
If I’m being honest, I rarely talk to my parents about animal related things other than asking repeatedly to drive/take me to the zoo I don’t think my parents would necessarily tell me to stop but I just don’t really talk much about it out of fear that they might. I mean I guess I’ll never know but I don’t care too much because luckily my sister loves animals and wildlife as much as I do so I just talk to her about it. Like @Bengal Tiger pointed out, the only solution that comes to mind is finding a friend that likes animals as much as you. I suggest getting to know someone on ZooChat and perhaps even meeting up with them irl. I’m sure there are at least a couple zoochatters who live near you. The truth is not very many people are interested in animals as much as most of us are so I do understand that some people might get annoyed after constantly hearing about it. There really isn’t much of a solution to this, I mean we can’t really change people’s opinions, likes, and dislikes. I think the trick here is to find the perfect balance between wildlife related topics and “normal teenager” topics to talk about. No one will get annoyed with you or tell you to stop if you talk about wildlife related things but also pick up another hobby or two and talk about that as well. Anyway, like I said earlier I strongly suggest you try to find someone near you with similar likes and ZooChat is the perfect place to start!
