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The zoo from hell

Discussion in 'Fantasy Zoos' started by DavidBrown, 13 Mar 2013.

  1. 11jadaway

    11jadaway Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Kingston Upon Thames
    1. Steal honey from a Honey Badger experience.
    2. Walkthrough bear exhibit.
    3. Wear a meat suit in a vulture enclosure experience.
    4. Slug handling experience.
    5. Zoo without any endangered animals.
     
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  2. bongorob

    bongorob Well-Known Member

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    Stoke-on-Trent England
    My Zoo From Hell's three exhibits.

    1.Chimpanzees
    2.Meerkats
    3.Red Pandas
     
  3. zoogiraffe

    zoogiraffe Well-Known Member

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    And that coming from a Chimp adopter!!!!
     
  4. bongorob

    bongorob Well-Known Member

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    You don't have to tell everyone. :D
     
  5. ThylacineAlive

    ThylacineAlive Well-Known Member

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    ROB'S A CHIMP ADOPTER!!!!

    :p;)

    ~Thylo:cool:
     
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  6. Kakapo

    Kakapo Well-Known Member

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    My "zoo from hell" would be one so full of visitors that they don't let me see and photograph the wished species because there is an human barrier in front of each enclosure.

    Also, a zoo that keeps a lot of very wished species and all of them are behind the scenes with no chances to get a behind the scenes tour, and only boring common species are in public display.

    A real, existing "zoo from hell" would be any Indonesian bird market with dozens of birds packed into hundreds of tiny cages.
     
  7. Yi Qi

    Yi Qi Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Mississauga, Ontario
    A zoo from hell for me would be a PETA-run glorified wildlife sanctuary that forbids conservation because its cruel exploitation.

    Also 11jadaway, a slug handling experience would genuinely be interesting and work if you ask me, provided you have a sink to wash hands afterwards.
     
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  8. birdsandbats

    birdsandbats Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Wisconsin
    1. walk-through army ant exhibit.
    2. hug a cassowary (the cassowaries are kept angry).
    3. a rare species complex with only species that are rare in captivity - and are all off-exhibit.
     
  9. Dassie rat

    Dassie rat Well-Known Member

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    London, UK
    Hagfish handling for beginners.
     
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  10. FunkyGibbon

    FunkyGibbon Moderator Staff Member

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    Location:
    Changzhou, China
    A @Chlidonias themed Loris Walkthrough. All species are signed and kept but through fair means or foul are encouraged never to show themselves.

    There is an audio guide provided; it consists of a recording of @LaughingDove talking about a recent visit where he got excellent views of everything.
     
  11. TeaLovingDave

    TeaLovingDave Moderator Staff Member

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    Wilds of Northumberland
    I only regret that I have but one like to give for my Zoochat.....
     
  12. Chlidonias

    Chlidonias Moderator Staff Member

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    I have a clever retort for that.
     
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  13. CGSwans

    CGSwans Well-Known Member

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    Melbourne
    Yes, but you’ve given it at great length and a glacial pace, so it feels like much more than one.
     
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  14. birdsandbats

    birdsandbats Well-Known Member

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    Wisconsin
    1. A Wolverine petting experience.
    2. A Honey Badger petting experience.
    3. A Tasmanian Devil petting experience.
     
  15. ThylacineAlive

    ThylacineAlive Well-Known Member

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    Under the right circumstances I'd take the chance to pet all three of these :p

    ~Thylo
     
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  16. Kakapo

    Kakapo Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Zaragoza, Spain
  17. Ned

    Ned Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    South Gloucestershire, UK
    The zoo from hell starts with a huge queue of people, mostly families waiting to enter through an inadequate number of turnstiles. Inside screaming kids run wild, banging on glass and shouting at animals while inattentive parents stand chatting and showing no interest in the animals. Children push between your legs and stand on your feet as they try to get a better view so you decide to have a break in the café.

    The café is packed, the food overpriced and poor quality. The staff are uninterested and rude. You pay over the odds for a cheese sandwich made from cheap white bread and packaged in a plastic container.

    Aviaries contain domestic cockatiels and budgies; there are white tigers and a paddock of albino wallabies. Most of the enclosures are square lawns fenced with chain-link regardless of the species they hold. You stop to read an educational sign that keeps referring to species as breeds and herbivores as vegetarians. A gibbon is signed as a spider monkey and the Asian cat enclosures, formally displaying flat-headed cat and marbled cat, have been flattened and turned into a go-cart track with more screaming kids roaring around the track spewing out two-stroke petrol fumes as they go.

    In the reptile house a corn snake is displayed with a plastic skull and tome stone with R.I.P on it.

    A sea lion presentation feature a large male sea lions playing the roles of philandering sea captain in a comedy sketch that seems like something out of Benny Hill show. You come to the petting zoo / farm, you’d normally bypass this but you know they have spotted cuscus in there. Just as you’re about to enter you’re stopped by a member of staff who points out that for child protection reasons unaccompanied adults aren’t allowed into the children’s zoo. As you walk away you spot one child who has another in a headlock and is punching him repeatedly in the face as their parents stand chatting.

    A teenage boy throws half of his cheese sandwich in to a sun bear enclosure, you point this out to a zoo keeper who promptly marches over and offers to take a photo of the kid feeding the other half to the bear.

    In despair you leave, a person dressed as a lion wearing keeper’s uniform bids you farewell and invites you to ‘come back soon’ you do your best to give him a cheery smile but know there’s no chance you’ll ever be back.
     
  18. aardvark250

    aardvark250 Well-Known Member

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    HK
    A real one: Walkthrough walrus exhibit
    Also swim with the crocodile.
     
  19. Crowthorne

    Crowthorne Moderator Staff Member

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    Buckinghamshire, UK
    Agree with everything here (except the budgies. I think more zoos should have more budgies :) )
     
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  20. Varanus

    Varanus Active Member

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    16 Jun 2018
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    Location:
    Florida
    Geographus cone snail touch tank
    Free-flight Asian giant hornet house
    Venomous snake petting zoo
    White tiger breeding facility
    Swim with the hippos experience
    Leech touch and feed tank
    Free-roaming cassowaries
    Porcupine cuddle station
    Walk-through chimpanzee exhibit
    Dine with the fire ants experience
    Endangered species shooting range
     
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