The zoo from hell

I would think about a large exhibit in a muddy riverbed with a mixed presentation of African Buffalos, Hippos, Nile Crocodiles and Lions, of all sexes and ages and in large numbers.
Obviously Lions and Crocodiles wouldn't be fed with meat from outside.

 

1. Step on a Stonefish Experience
2. Every single exhibit is a coral reef exhibit, with the obligatory Ocellaris/Percula Clownfish, Regal Tang, Yellow Tang, Pyjama Cardinalfish and Blue-green Chromis. All use dead coral skeletons other than one which has ugly brown zoanthids, which are signed as "Coral"
3. Seahorses, crabs and octopus are signed only as "Seahorse", "Crab" and "Octopus"
4. Dolphins
5. Signs that haven't been updated in years and do not match what is in the tanks at all
6. An exhibit named "Finding Nemo: The Experience"
7. Jellyfish exhibit with only Moon Jelly
8. There was an actually nice exhibit years ago with native freshwater species or something that was replaced with Finding Nemo: The Experience
9. Calls the sea lions "Seals"
10. A tank full of goldfish
11. Advertising makes a big deal of the "dangerous" sharks but are actually just Blacktip Reef Shark, Tawny Nurse Shark and Sand Tiger Shark
12. Mandatory green screen photo at the entrance
13. Tanks use those ugly fake plants you see in pet stores
14. Big sign at the exit that says "We hope to SEA you again!"

 

15. All the information signs in the aquarium only have the names of the cartoon characters (Nemo fish, Dory fish, Hank the octopus, etc). All the fish that don't have cartoon counterparts with names are unsigned

 

Crocodile Swimming Pool
Cape Buffalo Rodeo
Leopard Walk-Through Enclosure
Bullet Ant Petting Zoo
Box Jellyfish Handling Experience
Bee Nest Petting Zoo
Angry Elephant Walk-Through Enclosure
Bull Shark Swimming Pool
Hippo Touch Tank
Leech Petting Zoo
Horsefly Walk-Through Enclosure
Cassowary Petting Zoo
Deathstalker Scorpion Touch Tank
Get Covered In Freshwater Snails Experience
Kissing Bug Petting Zoo
Tiger Walk-Through Enclosure
Angry Chihuahua Enclosure
Poison Dart Frog Petting Zoo
Saw-Scaled Viper Walk-Through Enclosure
Kangaroo Boxing Experience
Polar Bear Wrestling Experience
Sleep With The Lions Experience
Mosquito Walk-Through Aviary

 

That's it, we've found the most dangerous enclosure. Everybody go home, we're done here

 

Where all visitors have to be bare-footed.

 

This honestly doesn't sound that bad. Pleasant, not exactly, but I don't think you could call it "from hell", especially not with dolphins.

 

Sounds like they just described a below average aquarium to me

~Thylo

 

Exactly!

 

Including the 'step on a stonefish' bit?

 

Anything that predominantly consists of dogs while calling itself a zoo from pet owners to tv shows.

 

Here is mine:

Cockroach House:
Madagascan Hissing Cockroach
Brazilian Cockroach

Aviary:
Pigeon
Sea Gull

 

And probably Crows in the aviary.

But I love cockroaches, don't put them in the zoo from hell !

 

I kind of like cockroaches too, but many zoo visitors hate them

 

As long as it isn't a walkthrough exhibit I think it would be cool.

 

A house is Question-Mark Cockroaches and Halloween Hissers! I definitely agree.

~Thylo

 

The candiru skinny-dip experience

 

Aviaries filled with insects, centipedes, tarantulas!

 

Not quite from hell (in fact I like all the species I'm gonna mention, its just for the sake of some tongue-in-cheek humour, I believe anyone else from Australia/New Zealand who sees the post might see what I'm driving at with our most commonly held species in our region's zoos).

MEERKATLAND ZOO
$50 adults
$40 kids

Not 1 not 2 but 38 Meerkat exhibits featured throughout the park, chance for a VIP tour to meet our awesome Slender-Tailed Meerkats ($250 per person, pre-bookings essential).

Other animals you'll come face to face with are our awesome Capybaras, Common Marmoset, Ring-tailed Lemurs in the Lemur playground where you can climb on climbing equipment while our Ring-tailed Lemurs do the same thing (behind glass of course, though you can feed them in our VIP tour, additional $80 and again pre-bookings essential), Black-capped Squirrel Monkeys (replaced later by Brown/Tufted Capuchins), (Asian) Water Buffalo (later replaced by a second Capybara exhibit and a Quokka exhibit), Kangaroo Island Kangaroo and Tammar Wallaby walkthrough (Tammar Wallabies later replaced by Red-Necked Wallabies, inspired by another members comment on a now deleted media page), Koalas (only accessible for photo standing next to while are on a wooden branch under a 4m high shelter pagola, $80 fee to see, photo compulsory), (European) Fallow Deer (later replaced by Shetland Ponies), Dromedary Camel (site of exhibit later replaced by 3 more Meerkat exhibits), Lolly our resident Blue-and -yellow Macaw and Topsy our grumpy old Emu (and only two birds at the park), Harry our resident Greek Tortoise (watch him eat lunch everyday at 1pm) our other reptiles Spike the Inland Bearded Dragon, Bruce the albino Coastal Carpet Python and Jemima our Red-Eared Slider (Turtle) are available to meet in our amazing 'Meet the Reptiles' session everyday at 2pm (additional $50 access).

Coming soon:
*Small-Clawed Otter (never comes but we built a VIP section with more Common Marmosets don't worry)
*Red Pandas (never come, but we did get Fennec Foxes for a couple of years)
*Serval (never comes, but we did have an elderly female Binturong for 3 years, plans to bring in a second Binturong for company never eventuated)
*One summer we temporarily had Snappy the baby Saltwater Crocodile in our 'Meet the Reptiles' show
*(hybrid) Giraffes (never come but we did get more Capybaras in a 3rd exhibit for them)
*Hamadryas Baboons (never come instead we built a tunnel with viewing glass to view some of our resident Meerkats in their underground activities).

PS We make sure our billboards near the zoo inspire your kids to harass you to come visit us and pay the costs, just because of how cute our Meerkats look on our billboards of course.

Oh and when the Fennec Foxes and elderly Binturong died we built more Meerkat exhibits in place of their former exhibits.